Guthrie, Grandma, & No Mention of Gaza

Here's what you missed yesterday, and a tease of what you'll get today...

My dudes, pro tip. Find yourself a group of guy friends who will wait for you like patient boyfriends while you try on clothes. As someone who has only ever been the patient boyfriend, I can’t highly recommend it enough.

Good morning, fellow prisoners and wardens of late stage capitalism! Today’s the big day! Black Friday, if you didn’t know, is the glue that holds our nation’s glut for consumption together; a non-denominational polycule marriage between the subtle nationalist jingoism of Thanksgiving, the ever-fortified religious defense of Christmas and “the holidays,” and the insatiable maw of capitalistic overconsumption. Tis the season!

That unholy trinity has been undefeated for over a century (longer, when you consider this model mirrors, wildly, the shape of a monarchy…the church, the state, and the purse, all rolled into one concept). Ever since the robber barons retreated to their smoky back rooms in the early 20th century, the American experience has been dominated by this idea: We must shop until we drop.

It’s only 10am though and I haven’t had coffee yet, so I’m going to put a pin in this idea and return to it throughout the day. Hope you’re ready to dismantle some capitalism!

For now though, because we all innately love ourselves a Black Friday deal and I too need to exist in this capitalist hell, Down the Pipes is offering free paid subscription for 3 months if you subscribe before Monday. You have a nationalistic obligation to support the arts, or if you’re more motivated by the religious messaging of the season, gift subscriptions are available for loved ones at a discount too.

This is in addition to my standing offer of lifetime comped subscriptions for people I actually know and interact with, to claim that just sign up for the free tier and wait for me to comp ya.

Anyway, if you missed yesterday’s post(s), I’m doing a thing this weekend…namely blogging all day, everyday, like an overworked weekend blogger in 2009. Haven’t done this in a minute, kinda rusty! You’ll get daily digests (like this one) tomorrow and Sunday of everything you missed from the prior day, and if you’d like to stay up on the haps in real time, you can keep checking downthepipes.co throughout the day, or keep an eye on my Instagram Story.

Oh yeah, the digest. Here’s what you missed:

More soon, until then!